Let's be honest, sex is generally pretty great. At least personally, I've always thought that sex is great and I've loved experiencing it with different people. But I've never gotten serious enough with someone to live together and have the option of having sex every day — until now.
My boyfriend and I recently started living together and decided to really take advantage of it by having sex every single day. Of course, there are days when we're just too tired or one of us isn't feeling great and we'll take a rain check. But for the most part we've gotten used to having daily sex.
Obviously, you should do what's right or you and your body and relationship, but since I've started having daily sex, not only has my sex life never been better, I've also never been happier. Allow me to explain why.
Sex feels fantastic and it puts me in a good mood.
Let's start with the obvious, sex feels good. Aside from our biological need to have sex to pass on our genes, we have sex because it makes us feel good. On a neurological level, having sex releases dopamine, a neurotransmitter that is responsible for the feelings of pleasure you get from eating a piece of chocolate, doing certain drugs, or well, having sex. It makes sense then that if sex feels good we want to do it as much as possible and feel good all the time, which is why having daily sex is ideal for me.
I have the pleasure (pun intended) of having sex every single day, and getting that dopamine release all the time and that alone is incredible. I can be having a miserable day but I always know that at the end of it, I get to go home, have sex, and feel amazing. Bad day instantly erased.
Not only does sex feel good on a physical and neurological level, it also makes me feel good about myself. The sex itself puts me in a good mood, but knowing that I'm in a happy, committed relationship that works well enough to support a great sex life makes me feel even better.
Before, when I had sex and showed up to work the next day, my coworkers would always ask why I looked so happy, but now I'm so happy all the time that they no longer ask because happy and confident is my base state.
Having sex consistently decreases pressure to always be mind-blowing in bed.
When you're not having sex consistently, it's easy to build it up and expect the next time to be absolutely mind-blowing. That can be a lot of pressure to place on you and your partner an easy way to leave you disappointed when the great-but-not-spectacular sex fails to make you see fireworks.
By having sex daily, I've circumvented the idea that every time I have sex it needs to make me feel like I died and went to heaven. Don't get me wrong, my boyfriend and I have great sex, but I no longer go into it feeling like it has to be life-changing every time. I don't feel pressured to put on a show and neither does my boyfriend — instead of bringing out all these crazy moves and going at it for an inhuman amount of time, we just focus on doing what makes us feel good and that's really what matters.
Although there are times when we definitely bring out the big guns and really get into it, we understand that not every night has to be that way and we're totally fine with it. Even on the rare nights that one of us isn't really feeling it or it's just not going too great, we can easily shrug it off and not feel embarrassed, after all, there's always tomorrow.
It also allows me to try new things.
Having sex every day has opened up my sex life to many possibilities. Of course, you can absolutely try new things in the bedroom even when you're not having sex on the daily, but when you have consistent sex, you're devoting a lot more time to the act, and in turn have a lot more time to try new things than if you were only having sex a couple of times a week.
If my boyfriend and I think of something new we want to try, we can try it that night (or morning) and get instant results on whether it works for us or not and either incorporate it into our routine or skip it next time. Because we know we can always have satisfying sex within 24 hours or less, we don't lose anything by trying something new. Additionally, having sex every day means some moves can get old fast so constantly trying new things is absolutely welcome.
And to find what my boyfriend and I like.
We all know practice makes perfect, and getting to a point where your sex life is fulfilling to the point of perfection takes lots of practice. As anyone who has had sex knows, having fantastic, fulfilling sex is not as easy as movies and pop culture lead us to believe. It takes time to figure out what you like and makes you feel good, let alone trying to figure that out about another person.
Even in other long-term relationships I've been in where the sex hasn't been so consistent, I've had trouble nailing down exactly how to have sex that was really enjoyable for both me and my partner. I feel that the sex I'm having now is some of the best sex I've had in my life, in large part because my boyfriend and I practice every single day.
Like in other relationships, my current boyfriend and I didn't automatically know what the other person liked but now that we give it a go every day, we have a pretty good idea. I know exactly what to do to make him feel good and he knows what makes me feel good. Because we have the time to experiment, we're constantly learning new things we like and making our sex life better.
Having sex daily makes me more comfortable voicing my likes and dislikes.
By now I've talked about how having sex daily allows my boyfriend and I to try new things and learn what we like but all of these things together support an even more important aspect of our relationship which is having the ability to voice our likes and dislikes.
When you have sex you make yourself vulnerable, you're letting someone see your naked body and be with you in a really intimate way. Being this vulnerable can make it hard for you to say what you like or don't like, especially when you're first having sex with someone or when it's something you don't do consistently. By making it an everyday habit, I no longer feel so vulnerable when I'm having sex and I feel like I can say when something feels good, when something feels great, and when something needs to stop immediately.
It also helps me be more comfortable around my partner.
Not only has consistent sex made me more comfortable in bed, it has made me more comfortable around my boyfriend overall. My boyfriend sees me naked every day and allows me to see him naked every day and we have both become comfortable enough with each other that we don't even think twice about it (even as I type this out I can't help thinking how I'd never thought about that before).
When you are OK with someone seeing you at your most vulnerable, it's natural that you're comfortable with them in pretty much every other context. I know I can share anything with my boyfriend — from my deepest fears to a story about how I had to fight to hold back from farting in the middle of a meeting — and he'll be OK with it.
Time spent having sex is time spent together.
One of my favorite parts about having sex daily is that the time we spend doing it is a little part of the day that we set apart just for the two of us. Although we spend time together in many other ways, such as going out with friends, watching TV, or eating dinner together, sex is the only activity that focuses just on us and not anything or anyone else.
It's the little bit of time when we are both in the moment and are solely focused on one another and doing something that we both enjoy. Even when we are so busy that we barely see each other all day, we at least have that time that we're having sex to be together. Considering that consistent sex has allowed us to become more comfortable and knowledgeable about one another, I'd say that time we spend in bed is crucial for our relationship and my overall happiness.
Sex is a great way to get quality sleep.
One final (and underrated reason) why having sex every day is great is that it is exhausting which means when it's time for bed, I knock out. As literally every person with a pulse knows, sleep is undoubtedly necessary to stay healthy and happy so if you find something that helps you get quality sleep, you should hold on to it.
I personally get the best sleep after I've had a nice go in bed, so this whole having sex-seven-days-a-week thing is doing wonders for my sleep quality and helping me wake up feeling well-rested, refreshed, and incredibly happy (even when I haven't had my morning coffee).
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